So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
