the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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