Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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