how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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