Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize