i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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