The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
