Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
