Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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