you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just found a bag of teeth...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize