it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize