How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
