she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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