Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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