i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
A+ Viking dick
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