so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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