9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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