He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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