I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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