My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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