4 words: hood of his car
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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