Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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