Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
third nipple confirmed
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
