Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
