I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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