I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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