I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Are we still banned from the library?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
