she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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