just tell him i said nine months
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
