So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
