Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
