You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
