4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
its liver damage thursday
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
