Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
