I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i now understand why vodka
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
