Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
