you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize