what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
