how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
