You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize