Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize