but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
