I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize