Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize