dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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