So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
