Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
