I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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