Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
