I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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