dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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