dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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