great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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