Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
