Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
