We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Shame - the story of my life.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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