Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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