i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
