We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
