Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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