I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
